Zsolt’s Story

Blythswood Care supports the work of Bonus Pastor Foundation in Romania, which offers therapy to people with harmful addictions.

The fourth of October 1995 is a date etched in Zolt’s memory. That was the day his mother died of alcohol poisoning. She was 35. He was 15. “Things happened so quickly,” he says. “I could not believe it, even although I had seen her being taken away in a blanket. Our grandmother clothed us, fed us and sent us to school but after my mother’s death I did not want to study any more. I threw my school bag into the river. At school they scolded me and threatened me but it was in vain. I repeated the eighth grade three times but failed because I did not want to learn. At 16 I started to drink. I was always quite an inhibited person. In the disco I did not dare to ask a girl to dance but beer made me brave. Alcohol became my friend. My behaviour became insupportable. I drank, I stole, I cheated, I lied”.

At 19 Zolt was convicted of murder and sentenced to 16 years in prison.

“I wouldn’t like to go into details, nor describe prison life in Aiud. When I was released in 2010 there was so much rage, anger and frustration in me that I could not go on without alcohol and I started to drink again. Rev Irma Molnar ran a home for the elderly and I was working there. She told me about the Bonus Pastor Foundation and their therapy centre at Ozd.

“The most important element of the help Bonus Pastor gave me was that they never gave up. And this was not just in my case. They never give up on anyone. I started their programme four times and they always treated me as if it had been my first. The most difficult thing for me was to be honest and to face up to what I had done. The result was that I came to Christ and put my life in God’s hands. I put all my problems under the cross and I do so every day.

“I would still not have found my place in life if I had not experienced the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ. I’ve been praising him ever since. He has made me whole.”

Ferenc’s Story

A recovering alcoholic who has been helped by a therapy programme in Romania says that the hardest part of the process was learning to forgive himself for the grief he had caused his own family as a result of his drinking.

“I can do hard work but then I lost my job,” admits Ferenc, aged 37. “My mother wept and prayed for me and implored me to change but I responded with aggression. My wife stayed with me only because she had nowhere else to go with our little girl. Eventually I tried to kill myself. Now I thank God that I was taken to hospital in time, and that my life was saved.”

In hospital Ferenc was visited by a worker from Bonus Pastor Foundation, which runs a therapy programme with support from Blythswood Care.

Ferenc is a good-natured, friendly person. Discharged from hospital to the therapy centre, he soon became a favourite with others on the programme. “In spite of this, it was difficult to cope with the shame, guilt and remorse I felt when I had to admit how much sorrow and bitterness I had caused to my own loved ones,” he says. “How could I forgive myself?”

The Christian faith that underpins Bonus Pastor Foundation’s programme was the catalyst for the radical change that he so desperately needed. “My therapy was a process,” he says. “An important moment was a conference where I met the gracious and loving God, who forgave my sins as well. Since then I read the Bible daily. It is real food for my soul.”

Now back at home, Ferenc has found employment again and is mending family relationships. “Since I changed there is peace and calmness in our house,” he says. “Even now, after many months, my mother is still amazed by the change I went through, and is very grateful to God. My relationship with my wife has been restored more slowly. She found it difficult to forgive me. My daughter loves me steadfastly and is very attached to me.”

Arpi’s story

A harmful dependence on alcohol can creep up on you at any stage in life. That was the experience of Arpi who only ever drank in moderation as a young man. He was in his late 30s before alcohol became what he describes as a regular presence in his life. “It started with just one or maybe two beers each day,” he says. “I was drinking to escape stress but developed a panic disorder for which I was prescribed medicine.
“Then I was forced to stop work during the Covid lockdown and that was when I really started to go downhill.”

Arpi’s growing addiction destroyed his health, threatened his relationship with his family, and left him unable to concentrate on anything.
“I tried to get out of this swamp on my own,” he says. “But one failed attempt followed another and after each brief abstinence I sank deeper.
“The moment came when I realised that if I continued in this way of life, I would lose everything, especially my family. People mentioned to me the Bonus Pastor Foundation’s therapy centre but my ego stood in the way. It had to be my decision to seek help. My final despair and physical deterioration resolved that.”

Arpi was hospitalised for two weeks in September last year, and then went to stay at BPF’s therapy centre at Ozd.
“It was strange and new to me but I was accepted by my peers. We all had the same problem and a shared purpose: to escape our addiction. I was full of tension, guilt, shame and the fear of losing my family. The breakthrough came when I accepted that I had to deal with my own problems first. I understood that no matter what happens, I was not alone. God was there with me. In his providence I was still alive and was given the opportunity to live free from alcohol.”

Arpi eventually returned home to what he describes as a post-war situation – “the mess I had created during my addiction.”
“Slowly I began the rebuilding process. The most important thing for me is that my family has stayed together. My lifestyle has changed a lot. I am calmer and I plan my days. With God’s help I will succeed. “Bonus Pastor’s aftercare programme is an important part of my everyday life. We have a weekly support group where we help and encourage each other.”

Laci’s story

A wine taster. In some ways it was Laci’s dream job. Born into an ethnic-Hungarian community within Romania, he had worked his way up from humble beginnings. His father had been an alcoholic, and died young. Family relationships fell apart but Laci went his own way and built a life for himself, starting as a kitchen porter and going on to be a chef, working in some smart restaurants and managing other people.

Laci’s success was also his downfall. His income let him dabble in drugs but alcohol was his biggest problem. Relationships came and went, often involving drugs. One resulted in the birth of his daughter. Since then, cultivating a relationship with her has been of the greatest importance to Laci.
As alcoholism took over, Laci lost his job and his role as father was weakened. He was almost alone but three friends stood by him and urged him to enrol for the therapy offered by the Bonus Pastor Foundation at Ozd, Transylvania.
“Laci joined us in January and signed up to stay for six months,” says BPF worker Csilla Henter. “With his work experience, tidiness and punctuality were natural to him but it was difficult for him to accept that he wasn’t the boss. Once he did, his therapy began in earnest. He is a dynamic, lively person. For him, introspection and self-examination were the real challenge.”

A milestone in Laci’s recovery was when he met his daughter again, and also her mother with whom he has a difficult relationship. “He proved that it’s possible for him to stay sober in a stressful situation,” Csilla observes. “Drinking is never the solution.”
Working in a kitchen again, this time in BPF’s therapy centre at Ozd, was another boost to his recovery. Csilla says: “He made good friendships with other participants in the course and still keeps in touch with them. In the kitchen he became open to the things of God.”

Having successfully completed the course, Laci is now working abroad but keeps in touch with the new friends who accompanied him on his journey to recovery during their time together. He is also rebuilding his relationship with his daughter who is learning to trust him. Csilla says: “Laci is very grateful for his changed and renewed life.”